Friday, March 2, 2012

Another Bold Victory!

Dear Readers,

I am with great pride telling you of another valiant victory of our military forces! Today they have foiled the enemy when they tried to penetrate our territory under the guise of Red Cross aid workers. Also, our brave fighters have taken away the stuffed animals from several small children who were undoubtedly enemy spies. Fifteen courageous military personnel lost their lives in this operation. For the small children were very feisty. Our intelligence informed us that they had received CIA training while vacationing in Lebanon. It was fortunate that several tank units were in the area, as without their assistance the tiny terrorists would surely have done much damage and brought us to the brink of civil war. 

Also, many terrorists posing as hungry old people and injured civilians have been conquered by our army commandos. The terrorists were extremely good impersonators and our soldiers almost fell for their ploy. But at the last moment they saw through their subterfuge, and triumphed. 

Several medical facilities, hotels, schools, and homes which were all being used by the armed gangs who want to destabilize our otherwise brilliantly stable nation were successfully destroyed by our artillery. Hurrah for our good friends in Russia for providing us with first-rate weaponry at cut-rate prices. It has truly surpassed all our expectations.

Remember friends and patriots, the enemy terrorists and their foreign sponsors will stop at nothing to undermine our glorious fatherland. That is why we must be extra vigilant, and continue to mercilessly crush and eliminate anyone whom we may suspect of posing, or thinking of posing, or having at any point contemplated considering posing, a threat to the continued peace and prosperity of our nation. 

your friend, leader, and protector

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